This illustration is a bit more conceptual in it's horror, and also a 'relief' drawing for me. I had a discussion with El Goro while I was struggling with the previous illustration and I expressed that while working on my projects I hear a little 'voice' that asks me probing questions and says things in a quest to get me to give up on what I'm doing. It's caused me over the years to drop projects and not get around to doing things that I'm actually excited about. He explained that your brain actually tries to end your 'suffering' by convincing you to stop doing things that stress you out or cause anxiety. So our brains are actually trying to sabotage us when we work! It made so much sense to me, I then became inspired to draw this big, looming, smoky monster that sits on my shoulders trying to convince me to give up. It represents the feelings of self doubt, fear, inadequacy, that lead to vulnerability, anxiety, and other frighting emotions that leave me feeling like a helpless failure.
I'm learning to beat those feelings back, because honestly nothing feels better than holding up a pile of drawings or comic pages and admiring all the hard work you've done. It outweighs the fear, the fear is just stickier to get past. So never give up!
While you're here I also suggest checking out El Goro's podcast today for a great review of the movie "Stanley."
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